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Monday, February 28, 2005

Oscar sadness

Posted by: Hammer / 9:22 AM

Now that Hilary Swank has won her second Academy Award, Karate Kid 5 is that much more unlikely. Poor Ralph Macchio was still playing 17 year olds in animated sequels at age 37. Given his resume, I'm sure he could get a job polishing Swank's Oscars. Wax on, wax off. Ha ha.

During her acceptance speech, Swank said:

I don't know what I did in this life to deserve all this. I'm just a girl from a trailer park who had a dream."
I have a dream, too, Ms. Swank. Where you and Macchio combine to produce an heir to the Karate Kid throne. A lanky, youngster who wears a formal shower curtain to the big high school dance. A born rebel who learns that it's wiser to respect all forms of life than to shoot a kid for his high top sneakers while reciting facts about Okinawa from behind the wheel of a restored Pontiac. Who secretly befriends a hawk then trains it to save the last bonsai tree on the west coast just in time to watch the monks defeat the Cobra Kai dojo in a zen bowling tournament. Twice. Plus once ina flashback. That's my dream, Hilary. Thanks for ruining it by being talented.

Tell you what, though. Michael Ironside wasn't too big for Karate Kid, and he was in V. My dream might still come true.


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