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Monday, May 02, 2005

Rapture Monday: Respiratory ailments and tetanus

Posted by: Hammer / 1:14 PM

The rapture index fell 1 point to 149 this week. Who knew falling oil prices helped determine the rate of approach of the end times? This news is so good that we've decided there's time to renovate Three Way News HQ. The porch came down Saturday. The backyard is now a mass of respiratory ailments and tetanus. We had the misfortune of picking a weekend with temperatures almost 20 degrees below normal for the work. I doubt we'll be faced with the rapture before I have a chance to put the last paver in place.

Previously in Rapture Watch

A few items from earlier this week. Some guy got himself arrested in a beef with his son's principal over a book promoting tolerance. Of course, it was the fault of homosexuals everywhere. Evangelicals were decrying the filibuster in Washington, but loving it up in Alabama. Early returns on beating knowledge into kids were really, really positive.


Kansas wants to revisit the Scopes monkey trial. The state board of education is going to hold 2 weeks of hearings to decide whether to revise the state's science curriculum. The article has another example of the odd use of quotation marks in Agape text:
However, the pro-evolution "Kansas Citizens for Science" are asking scientists to boycott the hearings. Conservative Wichita pastor Terry Fox believes he knows why that group is doing so. He believes many evolutionists feel that those who support teaching creationism or intelligent design are not even worth their time to come to a hearing, and that they are simply "a bunch of ignorant people."
When conservative groups are mentioned, quotation marks are never used around their names. It's just plain odd.

No one wants to be an ugly loser

Here's an item in full on steroid use by young girls.
...One of the world's top steroid experts says creeping secularism and poor parenting in America have created an environment ripe for illegal steroid use, and not only among young males but also young females. The government estimates that nearly a million American young people have "cycled" on anabolic steroids -- or have used them over a six- to twelve-week period or longer; and a growing number of these kids are girls, some as young as nine years old. Dr. Charles Yesalis is a professor of health and human development at Pennsylvania State University. He says those girls who use steroids are hoping either to improve their athletic performance or to look better. There are "not too many cultures where it's good to be an 'ugly loser,'" the doctor notes, "and [these girls are] unfortunately following down the same path as young boys. We ... live in a society that teaches moral relativism and situational ethics -- we see it in journalism, in science, and among CEOs. The kids are following the same path. It's sad, but they are." Yesalis says in order to help curb the steroid use problem, parents need to spend more time with their kids and less time on their careers and themselves.
Moral relativism in science? I still can't figure that out.

The Bible as history

1,000 public schools? Really?
Some school districts are frightened off by the specter of lawsuits; nevertheless, Bible curriculum classes are now being taught in some 1,100 high schools in 300 school districts in 35 states across the nation -- and this is going on during school hours, for credit, with the Bible as the textbook. That is because those 300 school districts are currently offering a course called "The Bible as History and Literature," a course curriculum from the National Council on Bible Curriculum in Public Schools (NCBCPS).
If you're going to teach the Bible as history, don't forget the part about the dinosaurs eating Adam and Eve.


It's from World Net Daily, so take it with a pound of salt, but Crossmap reports:
According to WorldNetDaily, the Catholic Church will undergo a strong de-homosexualization movement in the coming years under the new Pope Benedict XVI. WND is reporting on an analysis published by geopolitical expert Jack Wheeler that explains the Catholic Church is riddled with homosexual clergy because John Paul II had refused to believe accusations that church appointees were gay. John Paul grew up in Poland when charges of homosexuality were levied against officials in a McCarthyistic way. Wheeler states that the new Pope will reverse that trend, and excise those found to be homosexuals from the church.
I'm sure after they've rooted out all the homosexual priests, they'll get to work on the pedophiles. Priorities, you understand.

Anti-Christ was a bit intense

Ken Salazar had strong words about James Dobson:
Ken Salazar, a Democratic senator from Colorado, has been engaged in a war of words with the conservative Christian group, Focus on the Family, which operates out of Colorado Springs. He recently came under fire for saying of the group on public television: "From my point of view, they are the anti-Christ of the world." Salazar apologized afterwards, saying he intended to call the group "un-Christian." James Dobson, chairman of Focus on the Family, said Salazar's criticism of the group was intended to divert attention from allegations that he reneged on a campaign promise to support up-or-down votes on the nominations.
Anti-Christ is a bit strong, but un-Christian doesn't really cover it, either. I doubt there's any single word in the English language to convey the evil, ruinous, debased Dobson.


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