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Thursday, May 04, 2006

Funny you should mention that

Posted by: Jambo / 9:22 AM

I'm sure most 3WN readers are well aware of the debate going on about Stephen Colbert's performance at the White House Correspondent's Dinner. The humor-impaired crybabies folks on the right claim he was rude and not funny while others (myself included) think it was an inspired and hilarious bit of political satire that was long overdue. You can decide for yourself who is right. (Hint: I am.) Humor is of course pretty subjective stuff but I find it quite telling that folks who are funny for a living, like Kung Fu Monkey here, think it was a performance that professional comics will be recounting and honoring for years. And that got me thinking...

For a long time I have wanted to do a post and a poll called "Funniest Shit Ever" and invite readers to submit their picks for, well, the funniest shit ever. Maybe this is the time. It can be as wide ranging as you like; movie, stand-up, or even something that happened to you. And maybe even including great moments in comedy that are important to the genera if not particularly funny all by themselves. Like, I don't know, the invention of the rubber chicken. As always with my polls I'll go first with some of my picks but won't include every last thing I can think of to leave room for others who might have the same favorites.

  • "Who's on first?" If this is not a comedy classic, nothing is.
  • Ross Perot in the 1992 Presidential debate saying "If someone has a good plan I'm all ears." He just didn't seem to understand why the audience laughed at that.
  • Brookings Middle school lunch room, 1975, when I say something that makes milk shoot out of Mark Shalanta's nose. Everyone has one of these events in their life.
  • There are a million Simpsons moments on my list but the one that ALWAYS makes me laugh is Homer bouncing down the cliff on the skateboard, then being bounced up the cliff in a stretcher only to bounce all the way back down when the ambulance crashes.
  • Pink Panther: "That's a priceless Steinway!" "Not any moor."
  • "But this goes to 11." A recurring favorite of mine in many different lists.
  • Gilbert Godfried's post 9-11 telling of the Aristocrats.
  • Holy Grail: "Some watery tart dispensing swords is no basis for a system of government!" Even if I don't have the quote exactly right you know the scene.



    -Colbert at the WHCD
    -Colbert's "Threat Down," always listing "Bears" as the top threat
    -Colbert doing "This Week in God" on the daily show
    -Ok, Colbert in general
    -The speech Eric Stratton gives in "Animal House", about bad-mouthing the United States of America
    -All of "Caddyshack"
    -All of "Slap Shot"
    -All of "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" (the book of course)
    -The first time I saw Eddie Murphy's "Delirious", when I was 14 years old
    - Lazy Sunday
    - The last supper scene in "History of the World Part 1"
    - Tenacious D
    - Goldy Gopher (funniest mascot ever)
    - My daughter is pretty funny too...

    By Anonymous Old Ben, at 1:20 PM  

    Here are a few:

    Ralph Wiggum--anything that comes from his mouth

    Leslie Nielson's rendition of the Star Spangled Banner in the Naked Gun

    Mitch Hedburg---R.I.P.

    Andy Kauffman's foray into Professional Wrestling


    Leopold "Butters" Stotch from South Park

    Chubby personal trainers

    By Anonymous Monostereo, at 1:39 PM  

    Colbert used kid gloves on Bush. If he and the writers he works with hadn't held back as much as they did, Bush would have been bleeding all over the stage.

    Funniest thing I've had cross my desk lately is the 'IT Crowd,' probably because it's kind of my life turned into art.

    Pull a Torrent down here:

    [For those of you unfamilliar with this type of file sharing, you'll need a Bit Torrent client; many are freely available online.]

    By Blogger Dirge, at 2:01 PM  

    I truely loved the way Shrubster stopped shuckin and jiving in his chair at the WHPCD when Colbert said with a straight face (about Bush) "This is a man who stands for things ... and stands ON things ... like aircraft carriers, and rubble, and recently flooded town squares ... " Georgie looked a bit stiff the rest of the evening and I don't think it was from Laura's hand in his lap. Afterwards, Laura refused to shake Colbert's hand. Sound's like she's got a bit of 'Babs' Bush in her.

    By Anonymous MontgomanYou Know Who IAm, at 3:54 PM  

    Long-forgotton guest, talking about exotic food she'd eaten: Have you ever had the hump of a camel?

    David Letterman: No, but when I was younger, I'm told I was pretty good.

    The Germans from Fawlty Towers.

    Chuckles Bites the Dust from the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

    Lisa Simpson: "I no longer fear Hell because I've been to Kamp Krusty."

    Any reference to Mark Shlanta.

    Another Pink Panther: "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" "That is not my dog."

    Wayne's World: Keith Richards can't be killed by conventional weapons.

    Tommy Boy: the "Superstar" scene.

    Al Franken on C-SPAN, debunking Bill O'Reilly's Peabody Award delusions while O'Reilly sits by doing a slow burn.

    By Blogger Joey de Vivre, at 3:59 PM  

    1982. Gates is driving Jambo, me, and some others to a basketball game in Watertown.

    Keep in mind, Gates was almost always a little cranky in those days.

    We'd all contributed a little gas money to move that giant Jeep Wagoneer down the road (It was BIG. We once found a Toyota Prius crumpled up in one of the wheel wells). Jambo & I were sitting in the back seat, and we (mostly Jambo) were riding Gates on every little thing -- mostly the piece-o-crapness of the Wagoneer. It was really over the top. We were relentless and cruel. Fed up, he kicked us out before we even left town. We took Jambo's Capri to the game.

    Once we met up in Watertown, Jambo asked Gates for his gas money back.

    OK, maybe you had to be there.

    By Blogger Joseph, at 9:57 AM  

    OK, that is pretty darn funny even if I have absolutely no memory of it what so ever. You may not have to have been there but it sure helps to know the personalities involved.

    By Blogger Jambo, at 10:33 AM  

    O'Hagen: I just got off the phone with Tom McCardle From the budget committee. This thing with Farva screwed our pooch.
    Thorny: What. They can't lump us in with that fuckin' Martian.
    O'Hagen: We're all in the same boat, fellas.
    Mac: But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun.
    Thorny: Yeah, his shenanigans are cruel and tragic.
    Foster: Which wouldn't make them shenanigans, at all, really.
    Mac: (Irish voice) Evil shenanigans!
    O'Hagen: I swear to god, I'll pistol whip the next guy that says shenanigans!
    Mac: Hey Farva. Whats the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?
    Farva: You mean Shenanigans?
    Mac, Foster and Thorny: Oh, no! (Laughing) (Mac hands O'Hagen his gun.)
    Farva: You're talking about Shenanigans, right?

    By Anonymous Ba Ha Ha, at 1:01 PM  

    Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?
    Cartman: How would YOU like to go suck my balls?
    (The whole class gasps)
    Mr. Garrison: WHAT DID YOU SAY??
    Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, actually, what I said was....(grabs a megaphone and talks out of it) HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON?
    Stan: Holy shit, dude....

    By Anonymous Ba Ha Ha, at 1:02 PM  

    so the first line of Just like heaven by the cure says show me how you do that trick... my husband pretends to slide his thumb... better visually than in writing but i think you know what i mean... and in the highlander they talk about the prize... he says the prize is a hotdish. that's right, immortality, omnipotence, and a hot dish with tatertots. my husband is the funniest thing i know.
    also he hates dentists, how after you get your teeth cleaned and polished and scraped they go in there with dental floss... surely there is better technology out there for oral hygiene than that...

    By Anonymous mrs. bahaha, at 7:58 PM  

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