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Sunday, March 20, 2005


Posted by: Hammer / 7:28 PM

I'm angry. I'm ill-tempered, cross, short-fused, and anxious. But mostly, I'm angry. I'm angry that Kate Steiner was driving too fast. Angry that she lost control of her car. Angry that she wound up in front of me. Angry that my car was destroyed. Angry that the cop was an idiot. Angry that my neck hurt for a week and the my abdomen still isn't right. Angry that the tow truck driver made me wait for my keys while he helped the cop try to wedge the spare tire in Steiner's SUV.

I'm angry that my insurance company hasn't returned my phone call from Thursday morning. I'm angry that my insurance company sent me 10 pages of forms to fill out -- where I have to write my driver's license three separate times, describe how the accident happened three separate times in three different sized blocks, and diagram the accident twice.

I'm angry that the clinic left me waiting in an exam room for 45 minutes on Friday. I'm angry that nobody thought to tell me that there was a delay. It's a doctor's office, for Chrissake. If somebody just found out he has cancer, I can wait for the doctor to be compassionate. I'm happy to wait if someone needs a finger reattached or if baby needs to be resuscitated. But there ought to be someone -- whether the doctor, a nurse, a lab tech, or specialized contract worker operating from a phone bank in Manila -- to tell me: "There's been a delay; would you like to wait in the lobby? We'll call you when we're ready."

I'm angry that it snowed and that I couldn't go look at cars Friday afternoon. Angry that I underpaid my state taxes again in 2004. Angry that I haven't exercised in four days.

I'm worried.

I'm worried because I'm angry at the clutter on Ms. Hammer's dresser; angry that the dog wants to pee; angry that Grandpa Hammer parked in the wrong place and made it hard to get to the door; and angry that my once-promising tournament bracket is now in the crapper. I'm really worried because I'm angry that another little girl in Big Sister Hammer's dance class wasn't lined up right and ruined my videography.

Something, clearly, is not quite right with me. So I'm venting my anger by publishing it. Not letting it go, which is something I've never quite managed to do, but at least letting it roam far enough to crap behind the fence in the neighbor's yard.

Yes, sometimes I have no idea what my metaphors mean.

I do feel a little better now. Then again, Mike Wilkinson just led the Badgers to the Sweet 16.


There is something in the water. It makes the natives radiate with an odd glow. Why do we systematically ignore and deny these signs of the apocalypse? Why do we sit idly by and try to seek normalcy when it is merely an opiate of the mind. Why do we permit the madness? Take action now! Join the growing movement that strives to uncloak the mysteries that plague the global psyche!!! Show your support by encircling your wrists with orange marker to gain awareness. We will be heard and the world will know our cause! Learn more about the madness at or at

By Blogger hiddenfish, at 8:15 PM  

Hammer, Ba Ha Ha is worried about you. Watch out or you'll run into Idiot Police Officer again and he'll sign you up for anger managment courses.

By Anonymous Ba Ha Ha, at 10:18 AM  

Next weekend is going to be scary. If the Badgers lose to North Carolina, Hammer is going to be apoplectic. Hammer hates Roy Williams with the fury of a thousand suns. On the other hand, if the Badgers beat North Carolina, I will be happlily anxious for another week.
And, no, Hammer is not looking past NC State. There's no shame in losing in the sweet 16 to anyone. It's just that the stakes are so much higher when it comes to a Roy Williams-coached team.

By Blogger Hammer, at 10:37 AM  

Hammer, you should be looking past NC State. I am. NC State plays the same 3-point shooting offense that the Badgers employ, but they don't have the defense of Bo Ryan going for them.

As for UNC, when was the last time Roy Williams won anything? I was expecting the Badgers to lose to Kansas, considering they don't have the Roy Williams anchor around their necks anymore.

Roy Williams and Bob Huggins. Two coaches that can't when when it really comes down to it.

By Anonymous Ba Ha Ha, at 3:32 PM  

I sure do hope you're right, Ba Ha Ha.

By Blogger Hammer, at 6:38 PM  

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