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Tuesday, June 28, 2005

I hate my lawn

Posted by: Hammer / 1:56 PM

I hate my lawn. Love the yard, hate the lawn. Actually, love is a bit too strong -- our silver maples produce about 900 gallons of leaves annually -- in addition to the helicopter seeds, which are fun for a five year old but hell on gutters. Roughly speaking, we've got 500 square feet of sun. The bulk of the yard is partial sun, at best, with the entire south side of the lot deep shade.

The mowing, then, isn't that bad. I'm usually mowing in the shade, and my proprietary mix of clover and creeping ivy is but rarely interrupted by actual grass. It looks like crap, but my neighbors don't complain. Out loud. To me. Very often.

I'd like nothing better than to plow the entire front yard under and turn it into a shade garden. This City Pages article gives a few more good reasons to rev up the rototiller and order wood mulch by the cubic yard.

But I can't pull the trigger. At least, not yet. Maybe next year I'll find the gumption to write the family name in hostas and coleus. Until then, I'll be yet another failed lawn warrior (albeit one who uses an electric mower powered by WindSpring electricity) with a lawn mower in my hand and lawn hate in my heart.


Tell me about it. I wish somebody would have told me that "more fertilizer" isn't necessarily better. I have the yellow burn marks to prove it. I probably should have read the fetilizer bag, or possibly turned the spreader over to see that their were settings on the bottom. I guess this is what they call a rookie mistake. Don't they make some sort of lawn-colored spray paint? Maybe next year. The flower gardens look pretty good though.

By Anonymous Juan M, at 2:23 PM  

Contact the grounds crew at Lambeau, they play on painted dirt from late September through the end of the season.

I would say you could contact Heinz field as well, but you don't need to paint sand.

By Anonymous d, at 3:12 PM  

Actually, the turf at Lambeau is excellent until the first game after the first hard freeze.

Sadly, that game doesn't have as much importance as it did in, say, 1996.

By Blogger Hammer, at 3:21 PM  

It could be worse.
Urban prairie no match for bureaucrats' mower

By Blogger Jambo, at 3:56 PM  

My lawn is maintained through a strict regimen of neglect. I see it as performing a neighborhood service. They can always point at my yard and say "See, mine is in better shape than his."

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:53 AM  

If you could move to my neighborhood, I'd appreciate it.

By Blogger Hammer, at 9:00 AM  

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