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Monday, April 24, 2006

Rapture Monday: The Serpent of Porn (156)

Posted by: Hammer / 2:02 PM

The Rapture Index is up a point to 156 on the strength of surging oil prices. We're approaching a high for 2006. Does it comfort anyone to know that the chances of unleashing a nuclear holocaust upon Iran are far greater than the chances that the Anti Christ will rule the world for 1,000 years of tribulation? Me neither.

The rest of the news of the Rapture-Ready:

The Serpent of Porn

You really should read this entire article on 'The Serpent of Porn'. It's Rapture-rotica. It's charged with sexual language to waiting to erupt into your ears. Shin-shi shin-shi, indeed. A taste of the eruption:

The wise man, whose heart has been fortified with the Word of God, sees the devil behind that intoxicating temptation. In the Garden, Satan exposed himself as the "crafty" serpent he is. I imagine him being very much like a cobra. Known for the hideous hood it extends when preparing to attack, it actually spits into the eyes of its victim before striking. With its target blinded and helpless, the serpent could easily squirm away into the brush. But this viper is not content with escape; it enjoys killing. With bared fangs, it lunges, injecting its deadly poison into its victim's body.
This is a fitting picture of the man lured into viewing pornography. The temptation usually begins when he comes across a glimpse of flesh and/or a sexually suggestive hyper-link. It is just enough venom to temporarily blind him to the impending danger. The initial presentation is stimulating, creating a sensual atmosphere which spiritually incapacitates him.
Now the serpent moves in for the kill. That one glimpse of porn unleashes a poison that rockets into the man's soul and instantly spreads throughout his being. Just like a snakebite victim, he enters a catatonic state of mind: a sexual trance where all reason seems to abandon him. Lust rushes through his body; his face flushes with excitement; his palms get sweaty.

Solomon is quite an expert on adultery. By some accounts "Solomon went beyond any ancient monarch in the luxury of the harem" -- perhaps 300 concubines. If you have 300 concubines, what the fuck does adultery even mean?

Also on the sex front is this report which claims that gender equality creates more satisfying sexual relationships. Sociologist Edward Laumann sums up: "When mama's not happy, nobody's happy." If follow the fundamentalist path of male-dominated families where no one has sex for fun, we can at least take comfort that the sex wouldn't be very good, anyway. So there's that.

Contrariwise, the Vatican is studying the use of condoms to prevent the spread of AIDS. Guess Pope Benedict watches Dr. Sue.

Tony Perkins is a partisan hack: still

This week, Tony Perkins of the FRC attacks Howard Dean:

Former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean told The Christian Science Monitor this week that "the religious community has to decide whether they want to be tax exempt or involved in politics. "Now that he is the chairman of the Democratic National Committee, the ex-presidential candidate seems to have forgotten that churches were at the forefront of the abolition movement, the civil rights movement and even the anti-war movement. Dean seems also to have forgotten the new party playbook which says Democrats should reach out to church-goers, not run them out of the public square. Dr. Dean, a physician, is at risk of a malpractice suit when it comes to religious matters--like the time he told skeptical reporters he was a serious student of the Bible and his favorite New Testament book was Job.

Tax-wise, this is simple. Churches are tax-exempt. Political organizations are not. So, then, churches can't accept tax-deductible donations and use the funds for political activities. That'd be like funneling money through a personal charity. You'd have to be as dirty as Tom DeLay to do that.

What struck me though was Dean's gaffe on the book of Job. I hadn't heard of it, so I did some reading. Dean claimed to be a serious student of the Bible, but said his favorite New Testament book was Job. Job, of course, is an Old Testament book. Look at what Perkins is saying, though: Dean misleading people. He says he's a serious student of the Bible, but doesn't know that Job is in the Old Testament.

Perkins seems to have one fact right, but immediately starts misleading on his own. From Christiainity Today:

"If you know much about the Bible -- which I do -- to see and be in the place where Christ was and understand the intimate history of what was going on 2,000 years ago is an exceptional experience," he said.
Responding to this comment, along with earlier statements that Dean has read the Bible cover to cover, a reporter asked the candidate what his favorite book from the New Testament is. He answered by citing Job, a book from the Old Testament.
"But I don't like the way it ends," he said. "Some would argue, you know, in some of the books of the New Testament, the ending of the Book of Job is different. I think, if I'm not mistaken, there's one book where there's a more optimistic ending, which we believe was tacked on later. Many people believe that the original version of Job is the version where there is not a change, Job ends up completely destitute and ruined. It's been a long time since I looked at this, but it's believed that was added much, much later. Many people believe that the original ending was about the power of God and the power of God was almighty and all knowing and it wasn't necessary that everybody was going to be redeemed."

About an hour after his comments, Dean returned to the reporters to admit that Job was in the Old Testament, not the New.
...The New York Times columnist William Safire, who has written a book about Job, says that Dean is right about the existence of such interpretation of the ending of the Old Testament book, "though there's no other Job book in Scripture with an optimistic ending other than the familiar one. I think he means that some scholars believe that the Old Testament Book of Job that we know was amended by later rabbis fearful of portraying God as unjust."

I don't know what Dean's personal faith is and I don't care. But it certainly sounds like he had quite a deep understanding of the book of Job, including its editorial history. Safire, begrudgingly, agrees with Dean's assertion.

I can't tell you what Dean believes, but the record shows a deep familiarity with Job. Perkins doesn't want his followers to know that Dean has actually read the Bible, so he misleads them with a selective recitation of the facts. Perkins is a political hack, no more and no less. He's serving the GOP, not his God.

Child pornography

Here's Perkins fluffing Alberto Gonzales:

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales gave a hard-hitting speech this morning at the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children near here. Gonzales warned that most Americans fail to recognize the new dangers in child pornography. "It's not a victimless crime. Most images...of child pornography depict actual sexual abuse of real children. Each image literally documents a crime scene."

Does any legitimate politician or responsible citizen fail to acknowledge the enormous damage child pornography causes? Other than the sick and twisted few who get off on this, aren't we in agreement as a society that this is a horrible crime worthy of substantial punishment? Who is Perkins tilting at? Who does he think is in favor of child pornography? Is it the ACLU? The same ACLU that's defending the right of a Baptist Church to take over a commercial building in East Point, Georgia. East Point has an ordinance barring churches from taking over properties zoned commercial.

Jefferson's wall

Some folks had a march in Danbury, Connecticut to protest the separation of church and state. Apparently, the FBI used some super secret technology to read Jefferson's notes in the margins to prove that God hates fags.

Know what? I'm probably not reading that right.

Separation of church and state is a good idea. Governments have a lot of power -- in China, for example, where Christians are persecuted. And in India, where Hindus are attacking Christians. The very same people who want American to be an officially Christian nation are adamantly opposed to government persecution of Christians in other nations. The better answer is to let people believe what they want to believe and to keep government out of churches.

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