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Monday, April 09, 2007
Disneyland: Coda
Slog. Our trip west started with a rush and finished with a hard slog through airports and bitter winds. First, though, we had one more day in Disneyland.
Day 3 in Disneyland. In 1,000 words:
Actually, it started much better than that. It was our early admission day, so we got to Fantasyland figuring we'd get to hit a bunch of rides right away. That's not quite how it worked out. The line for Mr. Toad was really long before the park officially opened. We never did get on the Peter Pan ride, though we met the man-child in the flesh. Little Sister Hammer refused to ride any attraction where she found the entrance music objectionable. None of the rides scared her too badly, but ominous music really did her in.
I was rather disappointed by our trip through Fantasyland. I thought we'd hit more than we did. Then Ms. Hammer forced us all to It's a Small World when I really wanted to get to Toon Town for the Roger Rabbit ride before that line got long.
It's a Small World was about as annoying as every adult complains. The music is an incessant assault on sanity. The kids liked it that. I was full of bad karma as we stepped off the ride, which really puts the lie to the charlatans behind the Secret.
Before we exited the attraction area, we were stopped by two friendly ladies. Maybe not the kind of friendly ladies I was thinking of during our drive down Hollywood with a certain Los Angeles-based filmmaker, but friendly nevertheless. I'm a busy professional. As a matter of habit, I was prepared to push straight through.
That would have been a huge blunder. The ladies were passing out all-access fast passes for both parks. The only thing better would have been permission to whack people in the back of the head with a foam paddle as we raced past them in line. Sadly, that was not forthcoming.
Splash Mountain was closed. We'd been on Space Mountain once before. The grown up rides at the California Adventure Park were out. Other than that, we hit every major attraction in record time.
Faces were painted, thrills were had, children were conned into fun experiences. Little Sis and I saw the fireworks from the Astro Blaster. Big Sister and Ms. Hammer took the Star Tour one extra time. Ms. Hammer even made a reservation at a pretty decent restaurant in the park so we had fresh food for the first time in 3 days. Good thinking, that.
(Here's a DL diet, by the way. Go to Disneyland. Eat as much crap as you want. Strap a 30 pound child to your shoulders or back and walk for 15 miles a day. Guaranteed to drop pounds.)
The real adventure came at 2 the next morning. We had a 6:30 flight out of LA, so we were supposed to be at the airport by 4:30. I planned to get to LAX at 4:00, figuring something would eat up some time -- checking out of the hotel, getting gas, returning the rental car, or waiting for the shuttle to the terminal. Everything went as smoothly as possible, so we ended up at the airport at 4:00 on the dot.
Too bad no Northwest employees were there to check bags. In fact, no one was there to check bags. We stood in line for 30 minutes until some personnel showed up. Came time to show our ID and Little Sis had to pee. Ms. took Little Sis to pee, so she ended up boarding the plane without ever being carded. Crack security system, that.
The homebound flight was much better than the outbound flight. We were sitting together, which was a plus. The kids loved the turbulence. Little Sis provoke 2 rows of laughter by exclaiming "That was awesome!" after one bout of bouncing. (She went on to amuse the people around her with a spirited argument between her shoes.)
That's really what I took away from the vacation -- the recognition that I'm a goddam lucky dad. The kids are impossibly different. Little Sister Hammer is a freakin' sunbeam. She draws people to her and lights people up. Whether it's the boy who just wants to pat her head during the parade or the people on the plane who can't help but giggle with her. Big Sister Hammer is off the charts in her own way. She can read anything. She might not know what any of the words in a sentence mean, but she can read any word she's ever heard. Probably a few she's only imagined.
One of my favorite BSH moments was waiting in line the first day. We were playing a game, taking turns naming animals that started with the last letter of the previous animal. We got deep into the game and BSH had to come up with an N. N is tough. I've been known to break out the Nilgiri Thar, because they are featured in the Minnesota Zoo. With all the obvious Ns gone, BSH came up with Narwhal. That wasn't my favorite moment. The lady behind us in line interrupted to say, "How does a little girl like you know what a narwhal is?". That wasn't my favorite moment, either. My favorite moment came just after, when I realized how utterly unsurprised I was that Big Sister knew what a narwhal was. I don't take her gifts for granted -- but I am acquainted with them.
The lines were long, Big Sister wouldn't speak to me for an hour after Space Mountain and 20 minutes after Indiana Jones, the kids weren't overflowing with gratitude, the other guests were obnoxious, and everything was ridiculously overpriced. But I had a great vacation.
Labels: Disneyland
2 comments
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Best part of day 2 -- Disneyland
Oh, to be sure, the best part of day 2 at Disneyland is melting rocks next to the bed. Come, sweet bourbon, and warm my fingers while you remove my cares. Other than that, the best part was this:
We finished watching the Electric Light parade (or whatever it's called), which was fun. The kids liked it, and the interaction was exciting. For them. The music, though, just goes on and on and really grinds you down. At the end of the parade we started heading for the exit so that we could catch some of the fireworks over Disneyland. We took a left to sidestep the parade route and finally escape the music. In that wonderful, eerie moment of silence, Big Sister Hammer says, "Is there a bathroom nearby?".
And the best part was, there was. Not 8 steps away was a nice, clean bathroom. Finally, a potty break at a convenient time.
Then, of course, we got caught in the post-parade foot traffic, but we still saw the fireworks and got to bed at a decent hour. We've got 250 Disney dollars that have to be spent tomorrow. They don't sell beer at Disneyland, so expect the kids to be flush with gee-gaws and mish-mash by the closing bell.
Labels: Disneyland
1 comments
Monday, April 02, 2007
John McCain: "Stroll" includes 100 guards
Yes, I suppose almost any neighborhood in the world would be safe with this level of protection. But come between my kid and me on the way to the Haunted Mansion and you're going to have to answer to Justice and the Deuce (insert graphic of my awesomely balled up fists here).
Labels: Disneyland, John McCain
0 comments
Broken Promises
Seriously, is there any industry breaks promises with such stunning regularity as the travel industry? Our flight to Los Angeles -- booked months ago -- was grossly overbooked today. Some plane problem or other; the nature of the problem was never explained. Our flight was almost 40 minutes late taking off, which was a headache with a 4 1/2 year old skipping off the walls amongst the Hos-in-training on the way to Cabo.
I would've taken the voucher and a later flight, but for my good friend, a certain Los Angeles-based filmmaker living just down from the Hollywood Hills. Sure, it was only a lunch, but it was a good lunch. It's odd, for me, being a man who doesn't like anything, but I actually like Benno more every time I see him.
Anyway, the broken promise. The first plane and the replacement plane were 6 seats across. We are a party of four with two small children. Rather than seating us a family, we were seated 2 to each side with 2 strangers in the middle. How much time would it take, how much thought and effort would it take, to put the 4 fellow travelers together? Not a f'ck of a lot, tell you what.
Did get seated, did have a decent guy who switched seats so 3 of us were together while I focused all my energy on keeping the plane aloft. Problem solved, but I HATE fixing problems other people cause. Especially after I pay them $1200.
Made a bit of mistake in setting up my Google maps about town. I started my map from the airport to Benno's rather than from the rental car drop off to Benno's. I kinda figured it would all be part of the airport complex. I figured wrong. Still, I picked a lucky direction and had no trouble finding my destination.
Two troubles at the rental place. First, the map system they had there couldn't find the address I was typing in. Great idea -- just print your Internet map once you're there. Bad execution. Yahoo! maps doesn't know some addresses in Los Angeles. Second, the dude behind the counter told me to go to the PT Cruiser in stall 17. After we packed the car and were ready to go, I couldn't start it. Turns out our PT Cruiser was in stall 14.
LA traffic wasn't bad. Clueless lied to me. I find Chicago harder to drive in, mostly because of the consistently insane speeds my fellow travelers seek.
I only spent 4 hours in Los Angeles, but I wasn't car jacked once. I also failed to see a child under the age of 10. We drove past the house where the most famous scenes in Mulholland Drive were shot. I wanted to peer inside, but apparently they stopped filming years ago.
Here's a weird thing that no one else will care about. Benno actually knew his way around time. This from the 17 year old who couldn't drive around Minneapolis without turning into a bus lane in the wrong direction. Bus Lane Benno knows Hollywood.
Almost lost it when the kids couldn't make it to the hotel without a potty break. (A) They should have gone before we started for the hotel. (B) By the time they gave up the holding it ghost, traffic had just let up. Plus, I took an exit and then exit just to find a Subway. That was weird. Good news was we ended up (somehow) right next to the on ramp for 5 South.
Finally got checked in after one false start at the wrong Best Western across the street from Disneyland. Ibuprofen never tasted so good. Nor whiskey.
Labels: Disneyland
4 comments
Friday, March 23, 2007
Leveraging the Intertubes
The Hammer Family is on its way to Disneyland in a couple weeks. Ms. Hammer and I are trying to figure out whether to get a rental car or just take a shuttle bus or van from the airport to the hotel. The hotel is directly across the street from Disneyland and because I'm a cheap bastard, I won't allow us to spend any money outside the Magic Kingdom (we've saved quite a few Disney dollars through credit card purchases over the last 5 years).
Anyone have any good ideas for us? We can rent a car for as little as $30 a day. For a four day trip, the total is roughly $120. One van service would run $120 round trip. One bus service would be $80. How much of a hassle is it to drive from LAX to Anaheim? The bus trip is (allegedly) 45 minutes, which seems awfully quick considering that Google tells me the trip is 39 minutes by car.
If any experts are willing to drop a note in comments, I'd appreciate it.
Labels: Disneyland
7 comments
