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Sunday, July 22, 2007
Harry Potter spoilers
J.K. Rowling really ripped that story right from the headlines, eh? Ron goes into hiding in Northfield, MN. Within hours, he's a hard-core heroin user, spending well over 800 dollars a day on his habit. (This is mostly due to his confusion over muggle money, but the point remains.)
Hermione comes to save him from himself. In a rage, Ron kills Hermione. He confesses to the chief of police, who turns out to be a Death Eater.
Oops, sorry. My notes were unclear. The chief of police turns out to be a Dumb Ass.
Voldemort recruits Ron, who drinks polyjuice potion. He turns into Michael Vick and starts torturing animals. Voldemort is impressed. The celebrate over some smack. Now Voldemort's hooked. He moves to Northfield because the supply is better over there. He gets caught breaking into Thorson to rummage for CDs he can sell for more heroin. Voldemort is killed in prison in the crossfire of a gang war.
Harry and Ginny spend the whole book doing it. And she's totally underage, so I'm guessing the book won't be sold in Mississippi for two reasons now.
And, finally, Snape, Ron, George, Tonks, Remus, Draco, Lucius, and Crookshanks are all killed when this robot-truck thing tries to "hide" on top of a garage within which they were hiding.
Labels: Harry Potter
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Friday, July 20, 2007
Harry Potter and the nuclear tipped cruise missile
I'm leaving town tomorrow morning and just remembered this evening that there was a book I needed to pick up as a birthday present for someone I will see this weekend. I had meant to order it from Amazon last week and hoped Barnes and Nobel would have it or I would be out of luck. When I got to the store I saw a number of employees in costume and realized that tonight is the big night for the last Harry Potter book which stores are able to start selling at 12:01 tomorrow morning. After a young woman in a black wizard's cape and round glasses helped me find the mystery novel I was looking for I talked to her a little bit about the goings on. I'm not actually a fan of the series myself. I read the first one which I found enjoyable but not spectacular. Personally I much prefer the Series of Unfortunate Events books. When I mentioned that they must have several huge boxes of the book just waiting in storage to be put out at midnight I got what was obviously the canned (but pleasantly delivered) answer the employees must have been instructed to give: "I can neither confirm nor deny the presence of the books in the store at this time." I laughed out loud and told her my father had been the captain of a navy cruiser and always gave the same answer when asked about nuclear weapons, "I can neither confirm nor deny the presence of nuclear weapons on this vessel." She found it as amusing as I did. If there is a need for people to be tight lipped about something I guess I would rather it be something as benign as a bunch of fantasy novels.
Update: My father now informs me that he never would have said "vessel". It was always a ship, as he claims a vessel is only something for holding liquid.
Labels: Harry Potter, nuclear weapons
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