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Thursday, May 19, 2005
Obligatory Star Wars post (I'm really fighting the urge to call this "Same Sith, different day")
Yes, I really did go see the Star Wars movie at 12:01 last night. I know it is kind of embarrassing to admit to being that much of a geek but there you have it. I did hang my head in shame as I left at about 3:00 and saw two guys in the parking lot fighting with plastic light sabers. I also saw three different women dressed as Princes Leia, alas none from the gold bikini era. I noted at the time that none of them were old enough to have been around when the original came out and as I think about it I doubt they were around for ANY of the films with Carrie Fisher in them.Now all Star Wars movies (at least since the first two) have to be graded on a curve. If compared to any movie I would normally pay money to go see Episodes I and II clearly get failing grades. In fact they make up a full 40% of the 5 worst movies I have ever seen in a theater. The newest one does however have a small kernel of a decent film inside its overwrought husk. It starts off slow by starting off fast. We are plunged almost immediately into a hyper-kinetic space battle with dozens of giant star ships surrounded by hundreds of small fighters. In the midst are Obi Wan and Anakin attempting to, well, something, I guess. The whole scene, while no doubt meant to be thrilling seems completely contrived and pointless. Having no context the scene is flat and not the least bit engaging. It has the feel of an extended drum solo without an accompanying song. Most of the first hour has this same feel--meaningless action that does nothing to advance a plot. Say what you will about the original film, it had a linear story with each scene (with the possible exception of the trash compactor) serving to move the characters on to the next phase of the story. Here each scene seemed to be conceived merely as a vehicle to present some special effect or a reason to send one of the Jedi to a new location. I defy anyone who sees this to come up with a good reason to include the scenes of Yoda on the Wookie planet. Same goes for Obi Wan riding some giant lizard. Sure it looks cool but it is completely pointless to the point of hurting the story. It's like a story written by an 8 year old girl who loves horses--regardless of what it is about she puts in a scene of a princess riding a horse. But...
But, the film does eventually get around to telling the actual story that everyone has come to see, the transformation of Anakin into Darth Vader and his betrayal of the Jedi. This part, maybe the last hour of the film, is actually interesting. And that is not something I have said about a Star Wars film in the last 20 years. I will avoid any real spoilers other than to say I actually have a favorite scene, one in which Anakin witnesses a conflict between Palpatine and Mace Windu. You will know it when you see it because it mirrors, intentionally, a scene from Return of the Jedi. And what's more, hold on to your hats, it is not just a good scene in its own right, it actually makes the RotJ scene better, too. It is a fine piece of movie making and the only decent bit of character development Lucas has ever done. And the final scenes with Vader, both before and after he dons the mask, are fairly well done also. For those of you who have been following this story since 1977 you will be pleased to know that the whole "lava bit" is exactly as Lucas said it would be in interviews back then. (Tho how they reached that point kind of reminded me of the old film short "Push Button to Destroy Building.") The scene where one of the younglings (tho I cringe at that name) says "there are too many of them" (I'm trying to avoid a spoiler here) is one of the few scenes in the entire series that actually gets an honest emotional response.
So overall, grading on a curve, I'd give it a good solid C+. 75% of it is pointless/ridiculous, 20% is decent enough, and 5% is quite good.
I do have one minor continuity quibble tho. Most points are tied up pretty well so that they fit in with the original film (you'll recognize one ship and we see the droids being given to Capt. Antilles) but one part doesn't fit. In the original Obi Wan tells Luke of his father's light saber "Your father wanted you to have it when you were old enough." As we see in this final movie Anakin is gone before he even knows he has a son. A friend suggested that Obi Wan simple lied to Luke but that seems like a creationism style cop out to me. "Fossils? Oh, um, god created all of those to fool people into THINKING that evolution took place. Yeah, that's it." Yes, a minor, geek-level quibble, but there it is. Oh, and Obi Wan also claimed to not remember ever owning a droid, but that's a really minor complaint.
So now it is all over. 28 years ago, like a whole generation of kids, I sat in a theater and had my view of movies changed forever. I remember sitting in the second row of the Cinema Unique in Brookings SD and hearing that 20th Century Fox trumpet and drum theme (which none of us ever heard again without thinking of Star Wars) and watched wide-eyed as the camera panned down past a couple moons and onto a bright yellow planet. And then I had my little 12 year old mind blown at the sight of two giant ships seeming to pass right over my head. It was the most transcendent moment most of us ever had at the movies and I doubt we'll see its like again.
These last few years have been painful as far as my relationship to Star Wars is concerned. But this last movie provides a kind of closure to the whole affair. Kind of like that last dinner together when you break up. You admit things have not really turned out all that well but you can laugh and say "Boy we sure had fun together back in the beginning, didn't we?" and manage to kind of end things on a high note. You walk out of the restaurant feeling a little sad but ultimately feel like some sort of weight has been lifted from your shoulders.
(insert swirling Star Wars end theme music here)
24 Comments:
wow, such a negative nancy
try watching a movie as a movie instead of a whole religious experience. its a movie, and a damn good one. damn star wars nerds piss me off. it is not the bible for gods sake.
By 
, at
3:34 PM
FYI -- I corrected your spelling of Wookie and Leia.
I agree with Tard Patch. It's just a movie.
I agree with Tard Patch to a point. It is just a movie, but not a perticularly good one. And I am a bit confused by his/her logic. If someone views the movie as a religious experience or treats it like the bible I would think that would lead them to over rate it, yet Tard's complaint seems to be that I have been too critical. It's the very fact that so many of them fail to work as "just a movie" that bugs me.
Well, I have yet to see it. Read the script already.
The other mistake in the movie - Luke asks if Leia remembers Mom. She said yes. She can't. She's only seen her for like five minutes.
Nice going, Lucas.
By 
The Zombieslayer, at
5:40 PM
Yep and neverending story is a shitty movie cause it has a flying giant dog.
By , at
6:36 PM
No I didnt say it was a relgious experience. I said most star wars nerds watch it as a religious experience. George Lucas isnt rockmonanoff.
By , at
6:38 PM
How about this for a mistake: in order to hide Luke from Darth Vader, Yoda and Obi Wan send Luke to Tatooine. It's a remote planet, but it's also Anakin Skywalker's home...out of all the planets in the galaxy, that's about the worst place to hide someone.
The problem as I see it is this: we are no longer children. When we saw the first crop of SW movies we experienced them in an entirely different way than we are able to as adults. They were a religious experience for many of us. Have you really watched the original trilogy with fresh eyes? Sure, there's a lot of brilliance there. There's also a certain amount of crap (none of which involves Harrison Ford... but I digress). I honestly don't think episodes 1 and 2 are that much worse, and I look forward to seeing Ep. 3.
By , at
8:22 AM
Speak for yourself. You really think Tard Patch and I are all grown up?
The two of you are anomalies. You don't like anything, so your opinion of the movie is tainted. And Tard Patch liked the movie, so that just goes to prove my point.
By , at
9:00 AM
Yeah, but you're not saying we're grown up. That's my point. Tard Patch and I are about as immature as any broken down men in their 30s can be. All we do is talk about video games from 20 years ago and our glucosomine dosages.
If someone views the movie as a religious experience or treats it like the bible I would think that would lead them to over rate it
Not if they post here.
By , at
9:09 AM
Jambo, I think your review is a little harsh. It is a fun and satisfying film: it is much better than the first two prequels; it is a tad better than Return of the Jedi; but, of course, not as good as Empire and Star Wars. I also think your assesment of the Obi-Wan/lightsaber incident is a little off.
"A friend suggested that Obi Wan simple lied to Luke but that seems like a creationism style cop out to me."
Your friend is exactly right, and it is not a cop out. I mean, don't the survivors have to cook some sort of plan for revenge? And don't some aspects of this plan involve manipulation of Luke into believing his father was noble--at least until he is mature enough, trained enough to "handle the burden." Obi-Wan just doesn't want to come out and tell Luke how everything went down twenty-odd years ago. The lightsaber scene in Episode IV is Obi Wan simply giving Luke a warm and fuzzy heirloom from his father, coupled with a harmless, but utterly comprehensible, white lie.
Now who is the Star Wars geek?
By , at
9:17 AM
Didn't Obi Wan say "So you see, it is true... from a certain point of view." I'm sure Annakin would've wanted Luke to have the light saber. In the end, of course, Luke has to become a Jedi to redeem his father. So what Obi Wan said was true, from a certain point of view.
"If someone views the movie as a religious experience or treats it like the bible I would think that would lead them to over rate it
Not if they post here."
There are a lot of skeptics here, but I think the serious criticism is saved for those who abuse others' faith and try to force their faith on others. I don't see criticism of the faithful themselves. If there is, I regret it.
"I don't see criticism of the faithful themselves."
Nor do I, and I didn't mean to imply that I did. Honestly, it was just a dumb joke, and I sincerely hope you don't feel bad about it in any way.
By , at
10:25 AM
No hard feelings, just trying to make sure my intent is clear. We've had a lot of new visitors recently.
After 24 hour's perspective (and an actual night's sleep) I still don't think I was TOO critical, but I am willing to admit that at least the second half of the movie is pretty darn entertaining and well worth watching.
I really really try to separate my fanboy relationship to the original from my reviews of the current films and like to think I do a decent job, tho of course I would think that wouldn't I? I have sometimes been accused of being a movie snob and don't follow a lot of science fiction these days. But that is not to say I think the subject matter makes it impossible to create a decent film. Blade Runner, for example, I think holds up well to just about any level of film criticism. I've not seen the NeverEnding Story and have no insight into the effect of flying dogs on the film's quality. I do know that it resulted in the largest jury verdict ever for Mr. Lionel Hutz.
Maybe if I had seen the original for the first time at 40 I would have scoffed as much as I have at Episodes I, II, and half of III. I have watched it recently and it is full of lots of eye roll inducing moments but I kind of think it still would have worked for me. I remember at the time that almost everyone, non matter what age, was pretty taken with it, tho I don't doubt there were at least a couple dissenters. Maybe someone could find the reviews of a 68 year old reviewer (is Roger Ebert that old?) and see if they exhibit the same pattern of reviews that I do. (Yes, theirs will be far better written.) Or maybe it's not just that we were younger back then but that the whole movie public was as well and it is impossible to ever make a fair comparison.
As for the light saber comment, I'm willing to chalk it all up to Lucas not quite having the whole story mapped out when he made the original and I'm willing to cut him at least that much slack. We can come up with various ways to make it fit but in the end it doesn't really effect my enjoyment of the films. For me at least, it is just kind of fun to try to find little details like that.
Let's not start a nerd-off between Simpsons Nerds and Jedi Nerds. You know how it ends: Worst Thread Ever.
Speaking of Comic Book Guy types running amok, I'm putting together a post on David Cross's Pitchfork artist list.
If you want a new Sci Fi movie to wrap your head around, try PRIMER. It is about two engineers who accidently build a time machine in their garage. It is pretty low budget, confusing, but worth watching. I agree that Blade Runner is the benchmark for great sci-fi films, as is Philip Dick for great Sci-Fi writers.
By , at
10:59 AM
I will check it out. I have always contended that great science fiction is not about technological change but how humans deal with that change. I think that is the key to Blade Runner's enduring appeal. That and a really evocative setting that also says something about how humans have reacted.
That's not true, Jambo, I have documentary evidence of you arguing with a barn swallow in 1973 that the true measure of science fiction greatness is how quickly and realistically you can introduce hot chicks dressed in transparent fabric. Don't make me play the tape. We're all grateful that you kicked some of the intellectual dirt from your clogs when you left South Dakota, but don't deny the dirt once was there.
As for me, I judge science fiction solely on the quality of the puns. As I think we all do, sometimes.
Forgive me, I had to use my Star Wars name. Well, I just saw it (no thanks to Jambo who dogged us for his "new boss"). This is the first of the prequels where I wasn't doing my Yoda imitation as I was going out the door "Money back, I want." But that's not saying much. I keep my expectations low so I won't get too disappointed. I recommend this approach to all Minnesota Vikings fans.
It was OK. Some of the dialogue was better, the effects were incredible, and some (but not all) of the loose ends were tied up for Episode IV. Anakin was still whiny but I was pleased to hear McGregor using an Alec Guinness intonation in his dialogue. I can't ask more of Lucas. The guy's strengths will always be special effects and world creation. To ask anymore from him is like asking a man with no arms to pass the salt. It just ain't gonna happen.
Part of the problem for Lucas is that a.) the core audience that grew up watching the original trilogy has grown up and b.) Peter Jackson. Those of us who saw the original movies when we were kids or teens, saw something we had never seen before. Nothing can replace that intial buzz. And in the intervening years, our tastes have become more sophisticated. Lucas should have evolved as a film maker, instead he regressed. Which leads to b.) the first two prequels had the misfortune of following LOTR into the theaters. Peter Jackson raised the bar for fantasy to Oscar level, giving movie fans that buzz that no one had felt since the original trilogy. It was impossible for a director/writer of Lucas's level to compete with that.
Now I know that it is not really a fair comparison but hey, that's the way the marketplace shook out in the last four years. And I will give Lucas credit for making the last one something I can watch again without cringing. But damn, wouldn't it have been interesting if he had evolved into a better film maker, like his buddy Steven. And thank god he's not going to direct Indiana Jones IV.
By , at
9:27 PM
Vanna White? I had her poster.
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