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Friday, May 20, 2005

About those ribbon magnets...

Posted by: ben. for reals. / 2:02 PM

Hi all, Libby Mae Brown, nee Sunshine here. I’m providing a chick point of view on this here blog of Hammer's, and therefore will be writing irregularly about Tom and Katie, lip gloss, and Manolo Blahniks*. Actually, no, I won’t be blogging about any of those things, but I am not as much of a news hound as Hammer or as much of a … well, anything as Jambo. So my entries will likely have a somewhat lighter tone than those of the fellas. Well, I just can't wait any longer for all the three-way jokes to start pouring in, so here it goes:

This one goes out to all the fine folks who are supporting the military effort by attaching ribbon magnets to the back of their autos. I will refrain, at this time, from providing you with my thoughts on the magnets themselves, but if you’re going to put one on your car, please please please put the thing on straight. Straight, in case you were wondering, means upright. So that the little loop is at the top and the ends of the ribbon are at the bottom. Straight.

“But wait,” magnet person says, “if I put the magnet on straight, won’t the words on the ribbon be at an angle? We can’t have crooked words! It must be the ribbon that is supposed to be crooked.”

I'm not one to feel comfortable speaking for the masses, generally, but I think I can safely speak for the rest of the vehicle-driving public here: If you put that magnet ribbon on the back of your car/pick-up/truckasaurus as straight as can be, we will be able to figure out that you want us folks driving behind you to Support The Troops, or know that Freedom Isn’t Free and that God should Bless America. I promise.

*Yes, I googled that to make sure I had the spelling right, but I actually did have the spelling right. I am such a chick!


Welcome aboard, Libby Mae.

By Blogger Hammer, at 2:26 PM  


Whats the deal with the magnetic ribbons.

By Anonymous Tard Patch, at 2:29 PM  

Who's the brain wizard who came up with these things? I mean, come on. It's red, it's white, it's blue, it's yellow -- I say, pick a color and go with it.

By Blogger Hammer, at 2:50 PM  

Who is bringing the goat, three-wayers? Smart money is on Jambo.

By Anonymous D, at 3:06 PM  

what color ribbon is for free porn

By Anonymous Tard Patch, at 3:06 PM  

Goat? What's a goat for?

By Blogger Hammer, at 3:17 PM  

When I see those ribbons these days I often see a Bush sticker with them as well. It is all I can do to not roll down my window and yell, "If you idiots hadn't supported Bush we wouldn't even need those ribbons!"

PS Glad to have a new voice with us. Guess we have to take down the He-man Woman Haters Club sign off the club house door. I hereby call for the establishment of a National Three Way News Day. I'm picking Sept. 19.

By Blogger Jambo, at 3:26 PM  

Hammer, thank you for the welcome; D, you are icky; Jambo, thank you for the welcome too but you and Hammer are too small to be He-men.

By Blogger lmb, at 3:50 PM  

Instead of putting one of those stupid magnets on your car, which the soldiers can't see anyway--they are in Iraq, people--send them some M&Ms or a CD or a book. I am sure the troops would appreciate this kind of support a little more that some piece of crap magnet from the Wal-Mart, that they don't even get to appreciate. I think these magnets might be what the oft-mentioned David Cross refers to as an "Empty Gesture." And just because I say this does not mean I hate America.

By Anonymous Monostereo, at 3:51 PM  

I sent some kool aid to them a while ago, I think I am going 2 send them something else soon

By Anonymous Tard Patch, at 3:58 PM  

The rest of us are going to feel left out if we don't get to guest blog too.

On the topic of W stickers, who else wants to put rainbow stickers on those cars?

By Anonymous Ba Ha Ha, at 11:42 AM  

Yes, I know. I'm forever hurting feelings.

Jambo and Libby Mae are partners more than guests now. Libby Mae, for sure, will object to that terminology on grounds of "ewww".

At any rate, I still post what I can from emails, which is quasi-guesting. Most of the time, though, I get a link but not much else. If you send me a link, I only post it if I have something interesting to say.

On the other hand, if you send me a link with an interesting thing you say, and all I have to do is post it, I'm more inclined to put it up on the blog under your name.

By Blogger Hammer, at 12:20 PM  

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