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Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Soft core Time

Posted by: Hammer / 10:42 AM

Ms. Hammer has a tip: How Godly is this:
At 3:30 on a Sunday Morning, Brandon Straub soberly surveyed the bodies draped across the sofas in his fraternity house at Indiana University. Two girls cuddled and exchanged a languid kiss. One's breast popped out of her low-cut top. "Aaaawesome," drawled one of Straub's frat brothers. Straub could only muster an awkward half-smile. " I'd be lying if I didn't say that seeing some of these scenes makes me sad," he said. " How will they feel when they wake up in the morning?" Truth is, most of them wouldn't be up in the morning. By the time the revelers rose, after noon, Straub, 21, who is not only a...
Sadly, the rest of the article requires subscription. Ms. Hammer can read it for free on the treadmill, but the suckers have to pay.

I lived a sheltered college life. I was dating Ms. Hammer from the start of my sophomore year and avoided fraternity parties like the clap. So it's my fault that Time's Christian, Brandon Straub, gets to sheepishly peep at languid Girls Gone Wild kissing and I didn't.

Still, I don't think anyone ought to look to me as a model for how to live one's life. Is Straub really conflicted about whether to insulate himself from the secularists on establish himself as a paragon of virtue...after joining a fraternity? Good Lord, even the engineering frats have beer bongs and jell-o wrestling on school nights these days.

I avoided the frat brothers mostly because they were unbearably uninteresting. Also, they often said "Party" instead of "Good-bye". But a frat brother who is too busy witnessing his faith to inhale? I'd rather stand in a puddle of Dirk's vomit than put up with that.


What inquiring minds like me want to know is what does Ms. Hammer find creepy? Is it the evangilizing to other students, or the bi-curiousity?

By Anonymous Ba Ha Ha, at 1:58 PM  

I've been meaning to invite Heather Graham over to find out.

By Blogger Hammer, at 2:19 PM  

Both of you should know me well enough to know that I'm bothered by the evangilizing as well as the frat boy, not the chicks kissing.

By Anonymous Ms. Hammer, at 2:34 PM  

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