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Friday, September 22, 2006

Family Research Council: 'Distinguished speakers'

The Family Research Council holds itself out as being committed to God, faith and family. I don't understand how any serious person of faith could endorse Ann Coulter as a distinguished speaker.

On the eve of the Values Voter Summit, I am pleased to announce that White House Press Secretary Tony Snow will join the line-up of speakers at the first annual Washington Briefing. Tony Snow will join our Friday afternoon session in the Regency Ballroom at the Omni Shoreham Hotel. Other distinguished speakers include Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Newt Gingrich, Bill Bennett, Governor Mitt Romney, Sens. George Allen and Sam Brownback, Gov. Mike Huckabee, and many more.

I guess, however, if you're going to invite High Rollin' Bill Bennett, thrice-married Newt Gingrich, and George 'Macaca' Allen to discuss values, why not invite Coulter?

We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war.

In my mind's eye, I can picture Jesus (played by Ving Rhames) saying the exact same thing:

Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Except, of course, during a time of war, in which case I command you to invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to my meek, merciful, peaceful belief system. Get medieval on their punk asses, if necessary.